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Trouble in Zoolander Land

While Lily has been having such great success at middle school, her little sister has been having a hard time at the start of school.  I’m afraid that Zoolander’s learning difficulties I’ve been waiting for have finally arrived.

Lily’s hit about 2nd grade, but for a lot of twice exceptional kids it’s 3rd grade, when the work in school gets a little more demanding.  I suspected last year in 2nd grade that something was up with Zoolander.  She’s never enjoyed school and she does fine, but she doesn’t respond like a gifted kid in the 99th percentile might respond.  Her verbal output far exceeds any of her written output.

She could barely read at the start of 2nd grade, but I didn’t worry because Lily was a late reader too and now she reads at least a grade level ahead.  Zoolander was having the most trouble with writing and math.  

She was well behind in her math facts.  The other kids has stacks of ice cream scoops on their Addition Cones.  Zoolander had two.  She had/has an especially hard time with time and money, especially money.  No matter how many times she practiced and it seemed like she was getting it, if we’d take a 10 minute break and come back to it, she’d have a look on her face like she’d never seen a quarter before in her life.  She was that way learning her numbers in preschool.  We would work on them, work on them, work on them and we would think she was getting it and then 2 minutes later she wouldn’t recognize a thing.

Zoolander’s handwriting is rough and inconsistent but actually somewhat better than her older sister’s so I didn’t worry about that.  What made me start to wonder was some of her writing and spelling assignments she brought home.  She was spelling words in crazy ways and reversing letters.  By the end of second grade she had become a pretty good reader and was reading above grade level.  She did prefer graphic novels and pretty much only read non-fiction books about the human body, but that seemed fine.  It was her spelling that didn’t seem right.

In 5th grade, Lily had had a learning evaluation done by a woman I’ll call Dr. P.  Dr. P discovered that Lily had slight dyslexia but that she was such a visual learner that she was able to compensate for it and had no trouble reading.  But it was showing up somewhat in Lily’s writing.  She had trouble with encoding… or taking a word that she heard and figuring out how it might be spelled.  This seemed to be what I was seeing with Zoolander.

I had mentioned these concerns to Zoolander’s teacher throughout 2nd grade, but she assured me that it was just typical gifted kid asynchronous development.  But after my experiences advocating for Lily, I was ready to rumble.  I insisted that something was up and I didn’t care who thought I was crazy.  The teacher finally agreed that I might be right and we began an RTI for Zoolander.

So, back to this week, 3rd grade and the first day of school Zoolander has homework.  She tries to avoid it and says she doesn’t know what to do.  I explained that all she had to do was copy her 20 spelling words from a vertical list to a horizontal list with 4 columns.  I came back to check on her and found her crying.  I was impatient.  It’s just copying spelling words.  I sat with her and suddenly realized that she was really struggling.  She was writing words on the wrong lines and leaving some words out.  I asked her what was wrong and she said, “There are just so many ways to go wrong.”  

She finally had the great idea to get a blank piece of paper and use it to try to block out the other words and keep track of her place in the list.  That helped, but as I watched her copy the words, I noticed that even though she was looking at the words and silently spelling them as she wrote, what she actually wrote was misspelled.  She spelled strawberry, s-t-r-a-b-a-r-y.  I was stunned to realize that her difficulty might be more severe than I thought.  I decided then that I need to make another appointment for a learning evaluation.  I’ve got another 2E on my hands.

Walkin’ on Sunshine

One full week of school down and Lily is walking on sunshine. Seriously.  She’s elated.  I’ve never seen her this happy about school…. ever.  She’s feeling confident and she’s proud of herself. We’re proud of her.  She’s really working hard on handling this transition well.  I’m amazed.  This is how I always imagined my kid would be… if I’d had a plain ol’ boring, ordinary kid.  I keep asking myself… why exactly IS it going so well?  I don’t know. It’s not the meds ‘cause I never got that that prescription filled and now it seems like she doesn’t need it.  Her anxiety seems manageable.  She still has a mini-freakout every morning when it’s time to get out of the car and walk into school.  But it’s 5 seconds and she recovers quickly.  Is it a fresh start without all the bad feelings she associated with elementary school?  Has her frontal lobe developed just enough so that she can handle the new demands on her executive functioning?  Maybe all of it. What I really suspect, is that we finally have enough supports in place to allow her feel safe and confident at school.

Thanks to her IEP, Lily can wear a hat, chew gum and sit on a exercise ball, all of which help her focus.  The fluorescent lights are filtered so that the flicker doesn’t give her a headache and make her irritable.  She has a system in place, using index cards, so that she can ask her teacher for sensory breaks without drawing attention to herself.  She can eat lunch outside if the cafeteria is too loud.  She brings her lunch so she doesn’t have to wait in line where it’s noisy.

As far as organization goes, one of the 6th grade Special Ed teachers has been heading up the Lily containment effort.  I’ve been keeping her in the loop on any issues Lily tells me about and then she helps Lily on that end.  I let her know that Lily was scared of the power tools in Tech Ed (aka Shop) and that Lily was worried about being able to keep up in typing class.  She reassured Lily about both things.  I told her that Lily had some signed papers in her backpack that I thought might need to be turned in.  She helped Lily take care of that.  It’s been wonderful having that liaison at school.

Now, I know there are going to be ups and downs in all this.  In fact, the downs will probably start as soon as they start really getting to work in the classroom.  When Lily has to begin keeping track of assignments and start on them herself, I’m expecting some challenges.  But that’s where her Behavior Support Plan or BSP comes in. 

Start your engines!

The race to the end of the school year has begun and Lily is off to a good start.  We all survived the first day of middle school.  Lily even described it as ‘awesome’.  Hmm… that’s never happened before.  Of course, they haven’t started doing any work yet, but she still was able to manage the stress and anxiety of a chaotic, new situation.

She was okay in the morning, in good spirits, until it was time to get out of the car.  She got very flustered… which side should I get out on? how do I cross the street? which way to I go after I cross the street? should I get out now?  I tried to explain calmly and she was able to pull it together and get out of the car.  Her sister and I watched her walk away and Zoolander said, “That stressed me out.”  Agreed.

I thought about her all day.  What’s she doing now?  Is she doing alright?  Is she freaking out and the school is going to call me any minute?

Lily called when she got home on the bus.  She was bubbly and happy and said it went great.  She told me that she started to get freaked out once when she got to her locker in the morning and wasn’t sure what she was supposed to take to class.  So, she said she just thought about it and decided to wait for the girl who has the locker next to her and figure it out.  Great self-talk and problem solving to control her emotions.  When we met with Lily’s psychologist the next day he was proud of her and we all had a long discussion about self-talk and the different types of self-talk, which led into our next topic… math.

Lily got upset when we talked about math, but instead of getting frustrated and shutting down like she usually does when she has to face a difficult topic, she really hung in there and talked about her worries.  She’s very anxious about the math knowledge she is missing and has convinced herself that she will not be successful, which, after what she’s been through at school, is understandable.

I tried to explain to her that we chose the math program she’s in for several reasons, one of which is that her teachers feel that it’s better for a learner like herself.  I told her that she has such a unique mind that none of us really know what is exactly right for her but that we’re all trying to figure it out.  DR talked to her about staying positive and keeping an open mind and trusting that we’re all trying to help her.  I told Lily that I would ask the school for some answers to her questions and that seemed to help.

On a more fun note, I took Lily and sis to the racetrack near our house today for the Super Chevy Car Show.

I promised I would take her because she loves cars.

We got to the car show at the end of the day and it looked like it was almost over.  She was immediately worried that we had missed it.  The ticket windows were closed so I told her that we would just walk in.  She said she felt uncomfortable about that.  Lily is very black and white about rules.  I had to force her to go in and she was mad.  I ignored it.  After looking at a few cars, she got over it and had a great time.

NOT a Corvette

In Kindergarten, Lily told us she wanted to be a car designer and still loves cars.  Currently, she loves Corvettes.  It’s their round tail lights that she says she loves.  She asked if she could get a Corvette when she turns 16.  I told her that they aren’t very good in the snow.  When she was in the midwest this summer, visiting Grandma and Grandpa for 2 weeks, they surprised Lily with a visit to the home of a member of the local Corvette club.  Lily got to take a ride in the women’s Corvette convertible and Lily said it was the best day of her life!

Help! My brain is falling out.

Tomorrow is the day… the day my life gets a million times more difficult for the next 9 months or so.  Hey, I can exaggerate if I want to–I’m crazy.  And you know what? I haven’t even told you about some of the twice exceptional issues Daughter #2 has, or the issues that I still need to get figured out for her, the evaluations I need to schedule.  And I haven’t mentioned yet that she will have a teacher this year who gives lots of homework, so that’ll just be extra fun.  All that gives us something to look forward to, now doesn’t it?

We had to go up to the store tonight and get school supplies for Daughter #2, (you know… Zoolander, as she wants to be called) because I am perhaps the lamest mother of them all.  There were no other last-minute school supply shoppers–just me, Lame Mom.

Maybe that’s because I was too busy driving to work today and having my radiator bite it.  Luckily, I noticed the water coming out from under the hood while I was driving 75MPH and managed to drive to an auto repair place before the engine overheated.  The nice people agreed to drive me to work, fix my cracked radiator and take my money.  Sweet.  This is all my husband’s fault.  Anything and everything that happens while he’s out of town I blame on him.

Anyway, talked to Dr. Med Lady, Lily’s psychiatrist tonight.  Lily is still lethargic, sleepy and complaining of headache and stomachache.  Dr. Med Lady thinks that Lily seems to be super-sensitive to any medication. (Ha… super-sensitive.  No kidding.  What is she not super-sensitive to?) Dr. Med Lady thinks that the Intuniv dose is too high for Lily, but this long-acting pill doesn’t come in a smaller dose. The only other choice is to try the short-acting lower dose, but it may wear off after lunch.  We’re gonna go med free tomorrow and then get the new prescription refilled over the weekend.  I like Dr. Med Lady.

At the store tonight, on our way through the girls’ department, Lily spotted a black zip-up hoodie that had super-soft fleece inside.  She loved it and kept saying how soft and cozy it would be, so I bought it for her.  She does like to bundle up to help filter outside stimulation.  Before she discovered hat-wearing, she always wore a hoodie.  I didn’t get it until she told me that it muffled sounds and blocked the lights at school.  Now she almost always wears a hat, sometimes even in summer.

Lily has very specific qualities she looks for in a hat.  It must cover her ears to help block sounds.  It must have a brim to block light.  Oh, and it must be cute.  These actually aren’t easy requirements to fulfill.  So I’m always on the lookout for the right kind of hats.

In the car on the way home, Lily and I practiced what she would say if a teacher or student questioned her about wearing a hat in school, which is against the rules.

Teacher:  You there, take off the hat!

Lily:  It’s in my IEP. (that seemed like the simplest response to teach her)

Obnoxious Student:  Why are you wearing a hat?  Hats aren’t allowed.

Lily:  It keeps my brain from falling out.

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