Blog Archives
REMEMBERING TO REMEMBER
I almost cried this morning before I walked into work, all because I forgot my security badge.
I remembered so very many things this morning, but not my badge, which I would need to get into my office building. Now I would have to walk all the way around to the front door, carrying the flower I remembered to stop and buy for a friend who needed cheering up and the lunch that I remembered to pack for myself this morning because our team was scheduled for a lunch mtg with the company partners.
Oh, and there was the cat poop scooper and cat toys I remembered to stop at the store and buy this morning for Zoolander’s Animal Shelter social studies project and there were the lunches and snacks and water I remembered to pack for my twice exceptional girls. (Although, Lily forgot and left the snacks & water in the car.)
There were the spelling words I remembered to tell Zoolander to bring to the car this morning, so I could quiz her on the way to drop her sister off and the package I remembered to stop and pick up at the post office after we dropped her sister off. There was the math app, PopMath, I remembered to download so Zoolander can practice her math facts on my phone. Then, there was the text that I remembered to write for the High School Helper I just hired, telling her the plan for the afternoon. And there was the email I sent to the ADHD coach, giving her a heads up about what Lily might need to discuss with her at their appointment after school… gas for my car, trash out to the curb, pick up CSA veggies….
But wait, there’s much, much more… but I won’t go into that. It’s just a long list of things to remember when you’re functioning as the frontal lobe for 3 people, while your husband is on an island cruise… working. No, really. He worked on a cruise ship last week. I know. I hate him too. Oh, wait… no, this the week he was working at Crater Lake Nat’l Park in Oregon.
So, when I sat in the office parking lot this morning, gathering up all the things I remembered and discovering that I forgot my badge, my eyes stung and I remembered that I wish I had someone to remember things for ME.
The Note Bandit
The note bandit strikes again! Found this one hanging at the end of 5 belts. It’s Lily’s birthday list: Skateboard, rain boots, baby stroller and… boys shoes?! The next morning, when I ask Lily why she wants boy shoes (size 6 1/2), she says, “Just because.” Later, she pulled me aside and told me that she accidentally broke a classmate’s shoe, when she stepped on the back of it and the bottom came off. She scraped together all the money she had and wants to use it to buy him a new pair of shoes. She is definitely a very thoughtful and considerate person. Now, the rain boots and baby stroller??? Don’t ask me.
Math Chat
After Lily expressed her math concerns at Dr. K’s, I emailed our Special Ed contact at school and Lily’s math teacher and explained Lily’s worries. I suggested that it might be a good idea for someone on the team to meet with Lily and talk with her about the big picture plan for her in math. Both teachers emailed back and said it sounded like a great idea.
Lily’s difficulty with math at school began in approximately 1st grade, when, because she was now in the Gifted and Talented program, the class moved ahead to 2nd grade math. Lily instantly had trouble with abstract concepts such as money and time.
Her difficulties became more apparent in 2nd grade, when Lily was moved on to 3rd grade math. At this level she was expected to begin to learn multiplication when she could barely add and subtract single digits. She brought home worksheets from the math program the school was using, Everyday Math, and Lily seemingly had no idea how to do the work.
Her struggles continued in 3rd grade, when working on 4th grade math. By this time, I knew that as a visual-learner and twice exceptional, Lily was going to have trouble with rote memorization.
In 4th grade, doing 5th grade math, I began to suspect that the Everyday Math program was not ideal for a learner like Lily. It teaches on a spiral, so it touches on a math concept and then moves on, assuming that if the student doesn’t get it this time, they’ll grasp it the next time. But moving from topic to topic so quickly left Lily feeling like she had not mastered anything and it was very frustrating to her. Everyday Math also teaches the students several ways to solve a problem, but Lily just needed the comfort of really knowing the steps to solve the problem ONE way.
I researched different math programs, and after meeting with the school, they agreed to let Lily try an online math program called ALEKS. I seemed to work great at home. Lily loved the pie chart on ALEKS that gives kids instant feedback. At first, at school, ALEKS seemed to work well. During math time, Lily would work on ALEKS on a laptop, but it wasn’t long before the material became more challenging and Lily started getting frustrated. At home it was fine and I realized that it was because I was there to walk her through the steps when she was stuck. At school, there was an aide who could help Lily, but not someone trained to offer math instruction to a kid like Lily.
It was in the second half of 5th grade when we had a Learning Evaluation done on Lily. Lily was gifted in math, especially quantitative reasoning. When she was tested verbally, Lily was able to calculate math problems in her head to an 8th or 9th grade level. It was the rote arithmetic facts and her ability to calculate on paper that were causing her such difficulty.
In the meantime, we had Lily’s CSAP results back, which showed a decrease in math from 3rd to 4th grade. In meetings with school officials, I stressed that we needed to find out why Lily was struggling so much with math and come up with some solutions for her.
The school district finally sent in one of their secret weapons, a visual-spatial guy who specializes in figuring out visual-spatial learners, especially in math. He observed Lily in class. Mr. Visual-Spatial noticed that Lily seemed bored in class and hadn’t done any of her work, but when the teacher called on her she knew the answer. Later, when he met one-on-one with Lily and he asked her how she knew the answer, she had no idea. In a report, he explained that this is typical of a learner like this… always in trouble for not showing their work because they have no idea what steps they took… they just know they got the answer. In Lily’s IEP Transition mtg, he explained that drilling Lily on arithmetic facts will never work. She should just use a calculator. Learners like Lily like to have context for math facts; they have a hard time just memorizing them. In this meeting, Lily’s middle school teachers felt like she should go into the 7th grade math program and that this program is actually good for learners like Lily. It gives them a specific steps for solving math problems but within that framework allows them to use their quantitative reasoning skills.
Shortly after my email to Lily’s middle school team, both the Special Ed teacher and her math teacher met with her and Lily seemed fine. It feels like Lily is starting to trust the team and in exchange she’s really trying to be open and flexible.
I got a nice email after her meeting. The Special Ed teacher told me that she had also gone over some of the IEP supports with Lily and that Lily was informative and insightful about what supports help her and which she doesn’t feel she needs. The teacher said she was very impressed because most kids don’t have that insight at that age.
Piano Problems
I have to decide what to do about piano lessons. It’s important to me that my girls learn to read music. I know it’s good for them. I come from a musical family and I know that they both have some natural musical talent. The problem is… piano lessons are a major stress for the whole family and I’m wondering if, especially with all we have going on with school this fall, we should take a break.
First of all, they’re on Saturday, which my husband doesn’t like because he wants to be able to take the girls and do fun things on the weekend. But they have to be on Saturday because when he’s working, I can’t get home from work in time to take them on a school night.
Another reason is that it’s difficult enough for me, coming home from work and getting homework, dinner and baths done before bed, but then I have to also force them to practice piano. Lily freaks out if she doesn’t feel like she’s ready for her lesson and gets worried that her teacher will be upset with her. Zoolander just hates piano lessons in general. She plays slowly and hesitates as she plays, which her teacher feels is a bad attitude, but I really don’t think so.
I feel like whatever issue Zoolander is having at school is also affecting her ability to learn to read music and play piano. She has a very hard time learning the notes. We do flash cards over and over, but when you point to a note on the staff, it’s like she’s never seen it before. I’ve been googling Dysgraphia & Dyslexia to see if there’s any relation to difficulty reading music. After seeing how hard it was for Zoolander to copy those words and how she got lost on the page, I can see how reading music would be very confusing for her. The problem is, I don’t know how to help her, but I don’t want to give up on music. She has a beautiful singing voice, just like her aunt.
Maybe a different method? Suzuki? I’m hoping the learning evaluation will help shed some light on my twice exceptional daughter #2, but in the meantime, I’ve got to discuss this with their piano teacher and decide what to do.
Brainhugger 